Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Gentlemen, the first rule of eat off is...

...don't fill up on bread rolls.

Our fine lunching establishment for this Saturday has a little challenge. That challenge is a double No. 4 Heavenly burger weighing 1kg served with 600 grams of chips.

Become a legend.

Clean the plate in less than one hour and your name goes on their honour board. If you beat the record, your meal is free. The World Record is just over 8 minutes.

Now I know my limitations and sadly this is beyond them, but having spoken to the connections behind Meatlover McCarthy I think we have a clear favourite between our potential contenders... so of course I thought I'd start a book on the contest*.

The Book:

Meatlover McCarthy $2.10 - Clear competition favourite. The man is an eating machine who in dire straits has been known to eat off bacon just to satisfy his craving for meat. He will finish it, but in how long?

Ribs for Ramm $6.00 - Appears possibly a tad sensible for the contest and a lack of Milawa Mustard may slow him down in any attempt. Would give a good show at finishing, but the field appears too contain too much class.

Ingrams Chickens $3.00 - The dark horse. The man likes meat and has been known to spruik this fact often and converted his lovely wife from vegetarianism - which is no mean feat. Will definitely give the favourite a run for his money and would not surprise if we was to push the world record. However, he may prefer something a bit less challenging and may be tempted by the steak sanga.

Gutbuster Golding $5.50 - Lightly raced filly who will be facing a daunting challenge to clear the plate. However Mr Golding is known to have a craving for a good eating challenge and has dabbled in the circulation of eating challenge material from around the globe (but specifically America). With a love of a challenge is definitely one to watch at odds.

Henry the Hamburgler Gilbert $9.00 - The long odds reflect the connections of HtHG's reluctance to let him partake in the challenge. If he runs then the odds will be wound in significantly one would think. Monitor acceptances.

Rest of Field $15.00 - Cannot see the winner coming from outside these top 5 contenders. The rest of the field just seems to be too concerned with ladylike behaviour (your spruiker included!) to enter and/or challenge seriously.

Anyhow, there you have it. Look forward to final acceptances at the call of the card (menu) on Saturday and will see you there.





*note: odds are purely for conversational purposes and no bets will be entered into.