the title says it all, apart from the acknowledgment of my co-writer - the delightful Tovah from Heavenly Peach Banquet... oh and the following:
It was a dark and stormy night, and I was at Solar Geek Club getting my radiogram fixed. Suddenly, The Geek looks up, eyes glinting in the silvery light that flickers through the windows as the thunder echoes loudly around the room as it lit up his macbook pro revealing glimpses of the complex equation he had spent the past three months working on; did she love him or did she not? Sometimes he felt that the macbook Pro had feelings for him. There was something in the way it hummed under his fingers as he tapped out the equations; the way the little green light blinked at him occasionally, perhaps signalling to him that she wished to take their relationship farther than just of a Geek and a Machine suddenly the window blew open upon the back of a powerful gust of the heavy breathing storm outside, blowing the candle app on his iPhone out in the process. The geek gathered himself from the fright and shook the candle back on as he guided himself across the room to shut the window. Behind him there was sudden bang, and he spun on his heels to find his computer gone and in it’s place there was nothing left but the pizza boxes of a month's worth of dining in, seven coffee cups half filled with coffee, three cups still fully filled with cold tepid coffee destined never to be drunk and a smattering of empty coke zero bottles. His ruminations on his eating habits were disrupted when he glanced out into the empty hallway and the stabbing of loss and the bleakness of his life overtook him. His love and his life -not to mention his life’s work - was gone! Grief over took him and he fell to the floor amidst the pizza boxes, coke bottles and computer magazines and cried, cried like he hadn't cried since the cavernous disappointment of the Tron film remake had left him questioning what hope was left for mankind. After 47 minutes or 2,820 seconds of solid blubbering he dragged himself up to his feet and confirmed to himself his decision to man up and let his mum make him a hot chocolate with marshmallows to calm him down. He hoped for the pink ones, they tasted the best. He also cringed as he thought he would have to ask her for another computer and at that thought, he decided he would ask his Dad. Ever since his Dad had split from his Mum and ran to the arms of his ageing secretary he had been more carefree and loose with his money. The geek figured that his Dad would be certain to say yes seeing he had agreed, just last week, to pay for his sister's pole-dancing lessons. She was an aspiring stripper, which was unfortunate as she was not that pretty. She had thick glasses that highlighted her squinty eyes, and danced like a three-legged elephant on roller-skates. She was shaped somewhat like a lumpy hessian bag of potatoes that had been overstuffed and was bursting at the seams. Why their father had agreed to let her do this was beyond him, however he kept his mouth politely shut in the hope that she would put a good word in for him with her stunningly gorgeous best friend Agnes. He thought often and luridly about Agnes. How her thick coke bottle glasses could, with the assistance of a sunny day, burn a hole right through a cinder block, how on a said bright sunny day her braces could blind an orphan and how her misshapen scull reminded him of...
