some thoughts from Meredith 2010

are located here...

• Puta Madre Brothers opened proceedings and at times made you feel like an extra in a Sergio Leone western and at others like a bad Mexican Ritchie Valens coverband performing at a wedding where there had been a little bit too much tequila imbibed. so in other words they were brilliant and a great way to kick off proceedings!
• Rat vs Possum followed up and... well... look i'm sure they're great if you're 18 years old, it's 3am and you're chock a block full of so called party drugs. but i was none of the three and just didn't get it. apologies to those who did.
• Reverend Horton Heat was not quite the poor man's James Brown that i thought he was going to be - their so called psychobilly was much enjoyed and god to dance too.
• unlike Little Red who seemed to think they're bigger than jesus (and they ain't no beatles) and i just couldn't help that they've gotten ahead of themselves by a long way and were definitely a let down. more so because i know they can be really good.
• the lead singer from Silence Wedge's solo project Housekeeping were pretty good... but didn't deserve 3 sets... just saying...
• Miss Police 2010 was a clear and deserving winner, but the win was in no small part thanks to the work done by fluffer extraordinaire Doryan Gowty!
• C.W.Stoneking was enjoyed why i reclined in the sun on my banana lounge with a cold can of Dr Tim's. i don't think you could ask for much better a way to spend a saturday afternoon and his speakeasy bluegrass jazz and blues was a great soundtrack.
• kudos to the organisers for backing up an earlier joke of mine and ensuring that it rained during Washed Out's set. i'm still not convinced there is a band by that name. the festival organisers would also like to thank the assistance of the beijing olympic cloud seeders in helping ensure the rain.
• El Guincho got the boot from myself and my accomplice at the time, as well as from a whole heap of other (smart) people in the crowd. they were great and i highly recommend them and if they're not the biggest soundtrack to the summer then...
• watching The Fall was truly watching a genius at work. a lot of people didn't get it and i understand that. but watching 56 year old punk survivor Mark E. Smith (think a dishevelled Sam Neill with a long comb-over in pleated slacks and business shirt after a stroke) wander aimlessly around the stage midsong dropping microphones (i wondered why he had 3!), adjusting his band members amps, inspecting then dismantling half the drum kit, leafing through a pile of looseleaf sheets of paper as he spat out indecipherable lyrics over the top of the solid, grinding and relentless rythym from his band was just about my highlight of the year. we only clearly understood 2 lines for the entire set: "i hate festivals! i hate f**king festivals!". for more (and i recommend you sate that curiousity) check here... or a younger (and a classic you will know) here...
  
• following up these 2 bands was left to late 90's stalwarts Custard and they were more than up to the task. it was a great flashback to when i was in those easily influenced 16 to 18 years and i definitely felt like i was watching recovery with Dylan, Jane Gazzo and the Enforcer! the little pockets that could be spotted dancing frenetically during the set suggested that my little group of friends weren't the only ones enjoying the memories...
• Neil Finn has the voice of an angel and the sing along in the pink flamingo bar was great fun. he also received the boot from another of my friends and was definitely a deserving recipient...
• Sharon Jones were the Little Red of the saturday night... good, but not great and they can be great...
• red skins were a taste sensation - remind me to buy more next year.
• thanks as always to everyone who was there - i had an absolute ball. and thanks also to the Nolan family and the organisers - stellar job and much appreciated.
  

Gentlemen, the first rule of eat off is...

...don't fill up on bread rolls.

Our fine lunching establishment for this Saturday has a little challenge. That challenge is a double No. 4 Heavenly burger weighing 1kg served with 600 grams of chips.

Become a legend.

Clean the plate in less than one hour and your name goes on their honour board. If you beat the record, your meal is free. The World Record is just over 8 minutes.

Now I know my limitations and sadly this is beyond them, but having spoken to the connections behind Meatlover McCarthy I think we have a clear favourite between our potential contenders... so of course I thought I'd start a book on the contest*.

The Book:

Meatlover McCarthy $2.10 - Clear competition favourite. The man is an eating machine who in dire straits has been known to eat off bacon just to satisfy his craving for meat. He will finish it, but in how long?

Ribs for Ramm $6.00 - Appears possibly a tad sensible for the contest and a lack of Milawa Mustard may slow him down in any attempt. Would give a good show at finishing, but the field appears too contain too much class.

Ingrams Chickens $3.00 - The dark horse. The man likes meat and has been known to spruik this fact often and converted his lovely wife from vegetarianism - which is no mean feat. Will definitely give the favourite a run for his money and would not surprise if we was to push the world record. However, he may prefer something a bit less challenging and may be tempted by the steak sanga.

Gutbuster Golding $5.50 - Lightly raced filly who will be facing a daunting challenge to clear the plate. However Mr Golding is known to have a craving for a good eating challenge and has dabbled in the circulation of eating challenge material from around the globe (but specifically America). With a love of a challenge is definitely one to watch at odds.

Henry the Hamburgler Gilbert $9.00 - The long odds reflect the connections of HtHG's reluctance to let him partake in the challenge. If he runs then the odds will be wound in significantly one would think. Monitor acceptances.

Rest of Field $15.00 - Cannot see the winner coming from outside these top 5 contenders. The rest of the field just seems to be too concerned with ladylike behaviour (your spruiker included!) to enter and/or challenge seriously.

Anyhow, there you have it. Look forward to final acceptances at the call of the card (menu) on Saturday and will see you there.





*note: odds are purely for conversational purposes and no bets will be entered into.

Indochina, in general

I'm not entirely sure if Indochina is even politically correct...

• we invented a couple of games to pass the time and amuse ourselves (alright, amuse myself). the first was spot the gecko - they were everywhere and looked like fancy decorations until they moved. the second game was dog with a collar - Bee actually promised me a beer if we saw one - we saw at least 3.
• I also enjoyed the new and strange fruit that was served every chance they got. dragonfruit was one of the more unique fruits I've ever seen - bright pink/purple on the outside and white on the inside with little black dots - it tasted kinda like kiwi fruit. the other one I liked has a name that I never bothered to learn as I thought that pale yellow giant mandarin was much more appropriate.
• they love their volleyball and shooting ranges.

Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

I've been a bit slack due to enjoying the end of my holiday and then having to work, but here is some observations regarding Ho Chi Minh City...

• everyone has a job
• very disorientating and a lot more hectic than Phnom Penh. the graciousness shown on the roads in Cambodia definitely isn't there, but we found we were able to walk around a lot more without being hassled which was a pleasant change and we got to soak up a bit more of the city.
• at dinner on our first night in town i won a raincoat, ate free birthday cake and made a baby cry!
• visited the Cu Chi tunnels. they were very impressive and resourceful. the backward sandles to mislead the enemy as to which way they were walking were simple but brilliant.
• there were more guns to fire there, but i declined the opportunity - didn't feel quite right funny enough.
• our tour group included a highly religious catholic from Costa Rica named Fernando. he just so happened to be the Costa Rican ambassador to Korea. we swapped cards. he told me that he could get me into some North Korean sites if i ever wanted to visit Korea and to give him a buzz. curious? tempted? i'd say i am.
• on the way back into the city we got a good taste of the state by getting taken to a handicrafts factory where the employees were all handicapped. we were then led to a warehouse full of handicrafts at 10 times the price of what you'd pay in the market and told repeatedly that it's all owned by the government.
• long live Chairman Uncle Colonel Sanders

Photos will be appearing soon i hope...

Phnom Penh, Cambodia

had to kill a couple more nights in Phnom Penh until our visas to Vietnam became valid...

• visited the zeppelin cafe again. i requested i'm stranded by the saints but our zen dj was unaware of the track so he lost a point with me, but he was able to play some husker du instead so i was still happy.
• we also visited a restaurant that is run by an organisation that assists former street kids. they've won an order of australia for good deeds to humanity, which was a nice touch. the food was delicious too, which was an even nicer touch.

Kep, Cambodia

some musings from Kep...

• the place is littered with the shells of rich residences built first by the French and then the Cambodian elite before the Khmer Rouge evacuated the whole town and looted what was left. the bush/jungle grows around them and it's facinating to see such recent ruins left to their own device.
• $8 = 3 crabs and 3 beers. the crabs were cooked in a shack right on the water and flavoured with the local green pepper grown at Kampot and were that delicious that i felt like i was cheating on Murray Cray. the first day we were there we sat in our shack eating this as a tropical-esque storm passed over - it was extremely impressive.
  
• we took a couple of bikes for a ride and i went off on my own for a bit and managed to both get a puncture and drop the chain on my bike.
• we were also still able to get a message from the o&k grand final to hear the sensational news that Tarra had won the flag and my brother Craig had done alright. i was pretty rapt with the news and a little sad i was going to miss the party... but the crab and $1 beer helped a little.
• i'd also seen a beer advertised over here called "Victory", but despite my best efforts i was unable to track one down and literally "join in together for a Victory beer"!
  

Cambodia, in general

Just another observation...

• the kids over here love to wave and say hello when they see us, even if we are just driving past in a tuk tuk. it reminds me of how when we were kids we used to try get the trucks to sound their horns and the enjoyment we got from that. so i make sure i always wave back and say hello.

Siem Reap, Cambodia

some snippets from Siem Reap...

• we saw a dog that was half Inspector Rex and half Murder She Wrote. it was brilliant.
• 50 cent pots of cold beer.
• took a Cambodian cooking class, for which we traveled a little bit out of town and down a few wonky dirt roads. to our surprise there was a nice hotel there with the class conducted just a short walk down the road. they also took us to visit one of the families at the local village for which we gave them 2 kilos of rice as a thank you. they were a young couple 23 years old, with 2 kids and a third 7 months on the way. they were extremely poor and i was grateful we were able to visit and hope the rice helped. if the husband works laboring in the city he will work an 8 hour day for $2.50. later in the arvo (during our class) the 7 month pregnant lady rode past us off on her way to search for snails near the lake to use in her cooking for her family and hopefully some extra that they can sell.
• Angkor Wat. deserves to be the 8th wonder of the world. impressive, huge and nearly 900 years old.
  
• our tour guide for Angkor Wat and Angkor Thom was Socur with an old, mad Englishman named Shah (of Indian heritage and born in Sth Africa) rounding out our group of four. Socur joined us for lunch and it was interesting to have a chat with him. he had a good sense of humour (well i found him funny!) and his english was pretty good. he only works 2 days a week, because of the oversupply of english speaking tour guides and his wife, 18 month old daughter and him all live with his mother in law - apparently it's not a happy situation, but he's thinking of trying to move to Qatar to work.
• "Angkor What?" was probably not as impressive as Angkor Wat, but it was a good pub none the less.
  

Cambodia, in general

a couple further observations of the country in general...

• i love how tuk tuk's use cd's as reflectors
• the inventiveness of kids is gold - so far we've seen thong soccer, thong bocce and what i'm pretty sure was some version of thong marbles
  

Phnom Penh, Cambodia

Some random summations of the above location...

• first impressions are how poor a country it is, then how crazy the traffic is, then the amount of wood stacked in (and on and hanging out the back of) that tarago.
• our driver delighted in telling us how much fun it is to throw a hand grenade and highly recommended us trying it. he was interested to know whether i'd fired a gun in Australia.
• he also informed us that the current Thai/Cambodia border situation sees 30,000 Thai troops at the border and only 10,000 Cambodian, however, the Cambodian government has just decided to send more troops up there.
• the key to crossing the road (we think) is to walk very slowly.
• riding in a tuk tuk is a pretty good and cheap way to travel. you feel the wind in your hair, you hear the sounds of the streets and at the speed they travel you can take in a fair bit. and there is a fair bit to take in.
• we visited the killing field outside of Phnom Penh. the route our there saw us passing some pretty basic residences and the field and monument itself were extremely saddening. it was truly horrible what occurred there.
• on the way back in to town our tuk tuk passed about 4 meters from a moto which was totally engulfed by flames. we were concerned it was going to explode with us next to it. our driver pulled over so he could enjoy the show.
• we visited a bar called Zeppelin Cafe where they were playing great songs and had an awesome record collection (i'm currently reading High Fidelity which probably only enthused me more!). the dj had the long pony-tailed hair of an aging rocker, the zen calm of a Buddhist monk as he sat there and the glasses of a female librarian from the 80's. i requested rock and roll high school by the Ramones and he played it. i was stoked.

Another Friday Flim Cilp

Apologies for the absence, which brings me to the next clip - i suggest you drink some absinthe.

Both to help you (possibly) get your head around the clip and also as a nod to my good friend Dave who helped me out with this one.

the sweet sweet sweaters on the backup dancers and their sweet sweet moves + "how can i be sure you're not pretender" + the open neck shirt + the grease in space ending = i have no idea what and please feel free to fill me in!

Relativity

I'm not sure whether this pickle really is as huge as it appears or whether it just looks that way because that guy is so old that he's shrunken.

I'm also not sure what's going on with his pants.

What Odds the Draw?

My cousin gave birth to a beautiful baby girl last week and she arrived on her due date.

This is the first time I'd heard of this happening so had to investigate what the percentages were and it appears as though it's roughly 5% of all babies that arrive on the due date.

Now, please feel free to insert your own jokes about this percentage being greater than that of the female population arriving on time...

Top Ten Tricks MacGyver Would Be Proud Of - No.10

A new segment and countdown....

Number Ten

MacGyver works hard, no doubt, and likes to enjoy the days and nights off as much as he can. So when professional or consumer-grade cameras threaten to wash out party photos, he's prone to using a converted cigarette pack, reversing the lining foil to channel an SLR flash into a manageable beam. A coffee filter can also work, as can a ripped out piece of tissue or very fine piece of cloth. As a result, you'll never see a red-eyed, washed-out MacGyver flashing a thumbs up in any Flickr stream.



courtesy the lovely people at lifehacker.com

Sunday Arvo at the Labour in Vain

I managed to spend an enjoyable part of my Sunday arvo this weekend enjoying a pint of Guinness at the Labour in Vain Hotel in Fitzroy. It was a brilliant way to kill a bit of the day and the feeling of inner city Melbourne permeated the place and made me feel quite content.

I'm not sure exactly what it was that gave the place that vibe, but it probably started with a random collection of Melbourne's miscellaneous odds and sods rushing inside wearing a collection of the pubs own footy jumpers, assorted beards, beanies and ruby red lipstick to escape the miserable cold and wet weather outside. To be then greeted by the sounds of Melbourne rock icon Spencer P. Jones playing a warm up solo set, before the full band were set to join him later onstage.... or in the corner as it was!

Tommy Emmanuel in full length country styled denim overalls propped up one end of the bar as Spencer repeatedly threatened that he was "coming to get him".

While two kids playing the Simpsons pinball machine in the corner as their old man drank with other members of the Pain's football club reminded me of one of my earliest memories of Melbourne: playing the Adams Family pinball machine and drinking pub squash as my Dad and Uncle Kev enjoyed a couple of quiet ales.

Another Friday Flim Cilp

this one is for those outside of Australia who are missing the fun...

152 years history + the second eldest of three sons + black & white = brilliance!

Disposable Income

The problem with this as far as i can tell, is that i keep disposing of it...

Pikeys - Part 2

Mickey: Good dags. D'ya like dags?
Tommy: Dags?
Mickey: Dags. Ya like dags?
Mrs. O'Neil: Yeah, dags.
Tommy: Oh, dogs. Sure, I like dags. I like caravans more.

Pikeys - Part 1

The term pikey is a pejorative slang term used to refer to Irish Travellers (also known as tinkers and knackers).

Irish Travellers (Irish: Lucht siúil) are a traditionally nomadic people of Irish origin living predominantly in Ireland and Great Britain, with a relatively small number in the United States. Among themselves, Travellers refer to themselves as Pavees. In Irish, Travellers are called an Lucht Siúil (literally, "the walking people").

Another Friday Flim Cilp

here we go again...

a mixture of a few great ingredients to create something brilliant. click on brilliance to see the clip...

friends + their music + celebrity lesbians = brilliance!

John Frum

"You want to make good with a cannibal?
You’ve got to show him how to freeze a priest"

There are many airstrips built on the island of Tanna, Vanuato ready, waiting and inviting you to land in the hope that you'll provide them large amounts of cargo...

Karaoke

I can't get no satisfaction!

A Friday Flim Cilp

I was supposed to do this last Friday, my apologies.

the White Stripes + Lego + 2 minutes of music gold = brilliance!

enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q27BfBkRHbs

Avoiding people like the plague

Ironic, because the plague instead of avoiding people actually killed between 30% and 60% of Europe's population at the time.

Le Tour part 2 - Stage 4

Following on from my interview with the dog that cruelly ended Australia's own Adam Hansen's participation in Stage 2 of Le Tour.



It was interesting to see that Team Lampre's Alessandro Petacchi took out Stage 4 of Le Tour, whilst Hansen's poorly led out teammate and sprint sensation Mark Cavendish could only manage a 12th place finish.



Here's Petacchi accepting the victory after the stage. Dirty tactics from Team Lampre? You be the judge.

Ham Radio

I used to listen to Ham Radio back home. Unfortunately they poached the Wolfman to host the midnight rock and/or roll show and it ended badly.

Le Tour

An interview with the dog that ran into Le Tour cyclist, Australia's own Adam Hansen.

Wandering Relevance: Thanks for your time dog.
Dog: No problems, but make it snappy, I'm expected at the Parliamentary Enquiry into France's poor World Cup result.
WR: Really? So taking a break from Le Tour?
D: Yes, but I should be back in time for the Pyrenees, my aim is to bite that guy who dresses up as the devil. He really irks me.
WR: At least he doesn't interfere with the riders.
D: Listen, if you can't avoid a dog running out on the road I think you need to consider what you're doing out there.
WR: I've seen the footage - you barrelled straight into the guy! Who put you up to it? Team Lampre?
D: Listen my connections with Alessandro Petacchi are purely coincidental and I'm going to have to wind this interview up I'm afraid.
WR: Well thanks for your time. Can you make sure to have a nip at Thierry Henry's hands when you see him?
D: Sure thing.

to peak to early

this post is a little sad, as i do believe it will probably be the most amusing thing i'll ever put on here. ever. enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSyhDbV9wHo

separated at birth

welcome to a new segment of mine called separated at birth... it's not a new segment, but it's my blog...

anyhoo, here's today's...

14 litres of chicken noodle soup in a bathtub in the middle of the Atlantic ocean.

At least the taxpayers wouldn't be required to pay for it's rescue.

stuck at work

I have a mersey valley and a tassie blue just sitting there in my fridge next to my beer, possibly wondering why I have no real food, but mainly wondering why I'm not there to send them to a better place...